For almost 8 months now, I have been denying to myself that I like this guy because some of the people I work with have been teasing me and I was worried that this guy might heard about this issue and thinks differently of me. For months, I never admitted to anyone that I actually like him instead told them I like someone else to make them believe that I am into this guy they thought I like. During my first weeks at work, I can't help but notice him. He's cute, nice and would greet me and ask if there's food when he arrives at my office area. He's kinda used to finding me seated in my desk eating. He is always friendly. I'd like to think that we have become sort of good friends already. He listens to all my rants. He's the only person at work who saw me cry because my other boss scolded me for some stupid reasons. When he sees me, he would always ask how am I doing. Just few days ago, I got the chance to talk to him again and gave him cake because he was looking for something to eat. It was the day when I told myself, there's no more denying because it has always been him. I like him so much that I wish he will be able to see me. I don't think it will ever happen. He has a girlfriend. Story of my life. I always end up finding a good man but is in a relationship. I don't even have the chance to get to know him and let him get to know the real me. Kinda sucks!

Today's a Sunday. I have nothing to do. Actually , I have to work on something but I preferred to do it on my working hours (when I am being paid). After all, it's weekend and I should take some rest. I googled him. Don't get me wrong. I am not a stalker. He's not on my Facebook friends' list. I'd like to invite him but I thought it will be best not to. I don't want to know something that might just hurt me. I have found some of his other social networking accounts and came across to his curriculum vitae. It was a 12 pages resume. I am in awe after reading it! How could he possible have done all those things? He must be so focused and determined. This guy will never see someone like me. Yeah, he will never be interested in someone like me. How unlucky can I get?!

I know he's the one I have been looking for. I have found him and that's it. Probably another heartache of my life if this feelings won't die.

I am baaccckkkkk!!!

I know I have been away too long I couldn't remember the last time I write something in here. I missed a lot, didn't I??!! How I missed reading entries here about life, love and relationships. How I missed learning through reading from other people's thought, ideas and experiences. But I am so back! I will try my best to read one blog entry from Datingsh each day and to write more often. If you may ask, I am still single and still dealing with the same old heart problems!

On a lighter note, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all!!!

May you guys have the sweetest and happiest date with your loved ones!

Friends are treasures. I'd do anything for my friend. That's how important they are to me. I really make an effort to show them that they are special. I'd like to believe that I am a good friend. But I still lose them and I don't know why.

He was a great friend. That's how I look at him. I spent time and effort just to show him how I value our friendship. I thought he'd so the same because I was his friend. Then my heart got involved. I fell in love with him. Was it really my fault? I mean, if only I knew it would ruin the friendship, I'd rather not fall for him. He stopped talking to me. It has been over a year. One time, I asked him what happened. I told him that if his reason was my feelings, that was lame because our friendship was more important than what I feel for him. He explained himself but it didn't fix anything. Yes, we do talk once in a while but only because we need to. I tried so hard to patch things up and save the friendship. I swallowed my pride until nothing is left to me. All I wanted was to bring things back the way they were. Now, I have nothing else to do to save the friendship. It's ruined. All because of my stupid heart who fell in love with a friend.

It makes me terribly sad. He was important to me. I value the friendship. It seemed like that the so-called friendship has a validity period. How sad was that. I never wanted to think that I wasted so much time for him because the one year that we've been talking almost everyday, sharing problems, going out for a dinner and movie was so much fun. I really missed those days.

I guess when the person is not genuine, he won't really give a damn if someone is hurt.