I have always believed that what I do not know won't hurt me. That is why I never asked Miguel why all of a sudden we stopped talking. It has been 4 months since the last time we had a real conversation. Every single day, I am wondering how is he doing. I am always thinking of him. And I just miss him so much.
I'd like to believe in him when he said that he values our friendship. But how can I still do that now? It feels like he must have forgotten that I still exist. I'd also like to believe that I have been a very good friend to him and this is what I get. Don't you think it's unfair? Maybe I have ruined the friendship when I told him how special he is to me. Yeah, I fell in love with him. I fell in love with my friend. I fell in love with someone who never saw me. Was it really awful when I told him that I love him that he had to stop talking to me? I have always wanted to ask why but sure the reasons will only hurt me and I'd rather not know the truth. I have enough heartaches to deal with.
There were so many times that I want to talk to him because I want to share the things that is happening to me. I know he'll be pleased to know that I finally decided to resign in my current job and it's gonna happen very soon. He's been bugging me to shift a career. But things have changed. Four months have passed with no words from him at all. =(
Now I ask myself, is he really worthy enough of my friendship? Is he really worthy of my love?
I don't know anymore.
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